Seven and Half Men Starring Hermione
by RoPete
Summary: "All in all Hermione was happy she had a great man and a wonderful adopted son to love and protect and six trouble maker to keep things interesting." not everything is happy ever after But Hermione tries


"Oh Merlin! Someone kill me now!" Hermione yelled as she entered Grimauld Place, where she lived with her boyfriend Remus Lupin and his son Teddy (Tonks had died in the war), Harry Potter, Sirius Black, the Weasley twins, their friend Lee Jordan and finally Draco Malfoy.

"Bad day?" Remus asked poking his head out the pallor door.

Quickly he ducked back in as she let out a string of spells and curses while screaming her head off. As she calmed down Remus slowly approached her then wrapped his stressed out girlfriend in a gentle comforting embrace. Slowly she sunk into his relaxing hug. Teddy ran from pallor and hugged her legs.

" May we come out now with out getting killed by stray spells? " came a frightened whisper from the kitchen.

" It's okay now boys, Beast has tamed the Beauty." Smirked Remus.

"And I helped" Teddy giggled.

"I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?" question Fred cautiously.

"Yeah Beauty is suppose to tame the Beast and then they fall madly in love with each other." said George in a conspiring voice.

" We live in a backwards world Forge!"

"Got the right, Gred!" They then proceed to slap each other for no apparent reason.

"Oh would you two stop it. I am not in any mood to deal with you. So quit it before I call for Kreacher to skip your after dinner pudding!"

"NOT OUR PUDDING!" They cried falling to their knees. They slowly crawl to Hermione's sides latching on to her legs weeping in sorrow begging for their pudding. Sighing Hermione silently release Remus and patted Teddy's head, she grabbed her wand as the twins sobbed. With a few whispered words and fast wand movements she cast at the twins turning them into dogs, corgis' to be exact.

"If you're going to behave like dogs then dogs you shall be!… And you setting a bad add example for Teddy!" she shouted before turning and stomping up the stairs.

"Not the best idea boys." Remus smirked at the twins who let out a whimper. Harry slipped his wand out to turn them back in to humans as Remus and Teddy moved up the stairs.

BANG!

"Damn she locked her spell again." cursed Harry shaking his now stinging hand.

"She always does! Remember when I forgot to do the dishes, she locked her spell to make me clean every dish in the house… THREE TIMES!" grimaced Draco.

"Better wait for her to unlock it or risk making it worst." surmised Sirius.

"What's worst than having a dogs head, lizards tail and tongue? This one has four human feet while that one has four cows feet and the rest of their dog bodies are green see through goo! How could it get any worse!?" Lee shouted scared for his best friends. He had only recently moved in and was only now learning Hermione's quirks.

"Last time I pissed her off she changed me into my grim form and dropped me off at the pound"

"Last time she Portkeyed the twins to St. Petersburg Russia in the dead of winter for dying her hair green."

"That's not too bad." said a confused Lee.

"She had also strip them of their wands and all clothing. The portkey dropped them into a crowded marketplace. When we found them two days later they were sitting in a Russian holding cell with 6 other guys teasing and taunting them." explained Harry.

"Funniest part was they were still naked. Mione had locked her spell again making impossible for any clothing stay on their bodies. That's one of the reasons she was so feared in the war." Finished Draco. "And you remember what she did to Ron when she found out he was cheating on her, it was in the Daily Prophet for weeks!" all the guys shivered at the memory. Lee now remembered why the Wizarding world respected Hermione so much.  
After the war she rounded up many of the escaped death eaters and made reinforcements to Azkaban to make sure no person or animal got out unless authorized by the minister, head of DMLE, and three Senior Auror's, this included guards and visitors. She helped put in place wards and charms for polyjuice potion and glamour charm detection as well. But with her arresting technique no criminal dare step a toe out of line and risk it getting back to her.

"Well… um, okay. How long do you think they'll be like this, this time?" the frighten boy asked.

"Who knows?" shrugged Draco.

"She left Ron for three weeks and I was in the pound for a full day." sighed Sirius.

"I just wish they would stop being so stupid when she in a bad mood." Harry said.

"Huh! Like your any better sometimes, remember when she turned you into a broomstick and let Teddy fly you." smirked Draco.

Harry grimaced and rubbed his head, " Yeah, I still have headache. I swear he found every tree in the backyard!"

Meanwhile upstairs...

"Oh those twins they have to push my buttons!" muttered Hermione sitting on her bed. It had been along torturous day. Teddy climbed in to her lap to hug her again. She clamed slightly holding him

"So what did Mc-Idiot do now?" asked Remus as he closed the door, and sat with them.

"I just can't take his flirtatious ways and sexist sarcastic comments anymore. Then I come home to tweedle-dumb and dumber, plus there's the new dress code he imposed on those of the 'female persuasion' that requires us to wear skirts two inches above the knee and three inch heels so we look 'professional.' Personally I feel like a hooker." Fumed the frazzled Burnett. After the war and after catching her fair share of stupid death eaters, Hermione quit to study to become a healer. Which she loved because she got to help heal wounds instead of inflict them, she got to bring new life into the world instead of take it.

That was until her new boss was transferred into her unit six months ago. He was now trying to make her life a living hell by handing her and all the other female Healers minor cases that interns should deal with or changing their schedules so many times she could barely keep up and get to work on time or a decent break, plus the dress code changes to 'up the feminine presences' in the hospital. So now instead of coming home tried but happy she had made a difference, she came home still tried, but also with sore blistering feet, a pounding headache, with no happiness that she had made real difference that day.

"I mean today my biggest case was fixing a plastered mans nose. While the men in my unit handle burn patients, spell damaged Aurors, new mothers and more. Even when he asks for advice he ignores it coming from a woman. All the women in my unit have been put on simple cases ever since he got there. He is a sexist pig who needs to be roasted…"Hermione took a deep breath, claming herself. "Thank for listening Remus and your hugs Teddy." Teddy snored and Remus like usual had just sat there on her four poster as she ranted and raved. Well he was tired of just listening.

"Your right Love, he isn't using you to the best of your abilities and he doesn't have a good reason for it. He's doing to see how far he can push you. He knows your good, I mean your record shows it. I think he just doing this to see what you'll do. But what I want to know is, where's the old Hermione I used to know? Who wouldn't let knot heads like Mictoly get away with this. She would have fought him with everything she had not for only herself but for all the women. Your letting yourself be pushed around Mia. That's not you. What's changed, pet? Aurors would flip you sh-stuff you would fling it right back then kill them on the training mat. You earned a lot of respect and fear that way, where did that attitude go?" Remus asked. He hated watching the woman he loved be moved to tears because of a man like Rolf E. Mictoly. He had always been a sexist womanizing pig even in school. Remus remembered when the idiot tried his moves on Lily. Let just say Rolfie boy didn't sit right for a week.

"She's gone, I guess." whispered Hermione, giving a sleeping Teddy a squeeze. He was right she had changed, she had let that pig walk all over her and let him piss on her brains. She had let him tear her down, let him break her. When had she changed? She never let anyone tear her down like this. Not even Ron. And if an Auror did this, she would have shredded his ass.

"Well you need to find her and you need to take a couple lessons from her so you can fight this guy. I hate seeing you this way… It's also not good for the twins health. Being turned into different animals and other things can't be good for their mental or physical health. " smiled Remus. Hermione giggled and wiped her tears.

"I will Remy thanks."

"Now I believe something strong to drink is in order and a good meal. Also I think the twins have been punished enough. As we were coming up here Harry tried to turn them back and I know you and your spell locking." smirked the amused werewolf. He pulled the laughing girl carefully, so as not to disturb Teddy, into his arms for a hug and kiss. Together they started down the stairs to the kitchen where they found Harry cooking spaghetti. Hermione notice the rest of her men playing with the twin mutate dogs. Whipping out her wand she changed them back mid air jump to catch the ball thrown for them.

CRASH!

"Ouch, harsh Mia harsh."

"Oh shut it Draco" she said with a light smile. Handing a waking Teddy to his father she went to help Harry finish dinner. Sitting down at the table Hermione set the rolls in her hand down and leaned against Remus gaining the support from his silence strength. Plates were passed and conversation flowed as Harry set dinner on the table and before she could blink, it was gone...

* * *

Later that week Hermione came home again in a happy mood, and hopeful thing would be changing soon. She had gone to the hospital director and talked to him about the new regime at the hospital. And by the end of their conversation had him on her side. By next week Mictoly would be transfer to a new hospital, that Sirius and Harry were suddenly sponsored, in Africa.  
Also in the last week strange things had been befalling Mictoly, his perfect hair had fall out one day and the next he had purple blobs on his body that moved and multiplied when he tried to vanish them. Everywhere he went for a couple hours a rain cloud followed him hitting him with lightening and tons of rain, making him soaking wet and slip on the floor but it didn't effect anyone else. And anytime he tried to talk to women on an unprofessional matters (flirting, etc) he would slap and insult himself. Then over the course of the last day the loud speaker announcements' had him running all the hospital leaving Hermione and other to do his work for him.

Now home from work Hermione planned to unwind before starting dinner. Fate had different plans.

"MION-E!" A flying torpedo; also known as Teddy jumped into her arms.

"Teddy-Bear! You just get home from school? Did you have a good day?" giggled Hermione hugging and tickling him.

"Hehehe. Yes I did! And guess what?!"

"What?"

"My school's having a bake sale tomorrow and I need lots and lots of your super duper gooey brownies!"

"By tomorrow?" Teddy nods his head. "Well we better get started, Where are your father and your uncles? They can help us."

"They told me to tell you the library but they really went to the piggy's head to see grandpa Abe"

"They did, did they?" Teddy nods, "Well when they get home tell them to come to kitchen for a yummy surprise…"

Together they entered the kitchen and got started. An hour later they had three batches done when the boys came through the door. Teddy ran to greet them and tell them of their surprise. Knowing Hermione's cooking they ran for the kitchen.

"Teaching Teddy to lie for you, tsk tsk." They regretted their haste as the doors locked behind them. Remus, Sirius, Harry, the Twins, Lee and Draco feared for their lives.

"Tomorrow is Teddy's school bake sale, and we need twenty dozen brownies, as punishment you are to ALL help, Harry, Draco your on oven and suds watch, Daddy dearest and Uncle Sirius are on ingredients detail and you three pranksters are my mixing team. Lets get started boys! Chop! Chop! Teddy, Will you help me get dinner ready?"

The men all groaned as Teddy followed Hermione to the pantry. Quick as a snake

The bake sale was a hit! Hermione's brownies were the first goods to sell out. The boys except Remus missed the sale, as they had spend most of the night baking and were now cuddle up in their beds sleeping like babies. Hermione had also found out by owl she was elected new head of her department. All in all Hermione was happy she had a great man and a wonderful adopted son to love and protect and six trouble maker to keep things interesting. Things couldn't be better. Except of the ring in Remus' pocket, that he will propose with tonight. Not to mention the surprise growing Hermione's tummy.

"Thank you Merlin for my wonderful life."


End file.
